My Painful Truth

I’m here in my room. My mind is going to different places. I don’t know who I am. I’m lost. I’ve tried to find myself again, but everything looks the same. Darkness is taking over and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to think any more. I want to believe, to have faith, but it’s so hard. Whenever I’m feeling better and my hopes go really high life disappoints me. I’m not better, I’m just getting worst. I don’t understand why this is happening to me. A couple of months ago I was just a normal girl ready to conquer the world. I had dreams and so much that I wanted to do. I was just starting College and everything was perfect. And then…the unexpected happened, I got sick. At first I thought it was gonna pass, that the meds that the Doctor gave me were gonna help me. Hello, we ARE in the 21th century after all. But no! That wasn’t the way God had planned this. Days…weeks….months…I wasn’t getting better. Today, almost 10 months since I got sick and 5 Doctors later I still don’t know what is causing my body to react that way. Right now I’m drinking a new pill. Last night I sleep like no other night. I thought that at last I was getting better. That God finally healed me, but I was wrong. It’s not my time yet. I’m still sick. I accepted it. I trust God. I’m gonna be okay. I just have to wait ‘till the right moment comes. He is here with me and He’s gonna do a miracle. I just have to be patient and have a lot of faith. God….I’m here ....I’m waiting for You….